Rubdown...

If I ruled the world everyone would take at least one class in massage (or the local equivalent).

It's good to have a skill. Particularly one that brings me such pleasure.

Style...

If I ruled the world, I would bring back clothing styles from the 1940s.

Women in clothes that flatter the female figure. Definitely.

Men in hats and suits. Oh yeah.
(I wouldn't insist on the super high waist, but I would insist that pants get worn above the butt, and jeans that fit are all right too)

Conversation starter...

If I ruled the world every conversation would begin and end with my name.

Sample Conversation:

"Hi Harley."
"Hi Harley. Hey George. How's it going?"
"All's well, Hassan. Where do you want to go to lunch?"
"That Mexican place that has the chile verde."
"Sounds good to me. Noon?"
"Noon. Later, George."
"See ya, Hassan. Bye, Harley"
"Bye, Harley."